The Bread of Life

July 16, 2002

Jesus calls Himself the bread of life and if we are truly part of His body, then we make up the ingredients of that bread. The Christian church has been compared to the grains of wheat that make up the flour. You have heard these analogies before, the enemy has sowed weeds among the wheat and we are allowed to grow together until the time of the harvest. The pain and tribulation that many of us are experiencing are a result of the growth and sifting process as we near the final harvest.

There are two primary thoughts from the responses this time that gives us direction toward healing the pain: understanding and endurance. Understanding, so that we may know why these things happen and have the wisdom to deal with them; endurance to be able to come through it with our faith and holiness intact. We endure the pain by trusting in Jesus who heals the pain and by understanding who we are in Jesus, we are able to rejoice in our infirmities, humble ourselves and forgive those who have afflicted us by loving them anyway and praying for them.

The source of all healing in the New Covenant is Jesus. Jesus sent His disciples out to heal the sick and spread the good news of the kingdom of God. If Jesus is truly in you, you also have the power to heal: sicknesses, pain, casting out of devils, raising the dead - whatever the affliction, we have the same power that Jesus has to heal them. We also have the power to heal ourselves but understanding is needed to do it right, in must be in spirit and truth. It must be the spirit of the risen Jesus operating through us.

What we are experiencing now is the sifting that must occur for the wheat to be gathered. It is proving to a painful process for some but it is essential that we come through it without getting swept away and burned up. The Bible gives the example of the way that the chaff is separated from the wheat, which is through fanning or exposing the wheat and chaff to the wind. We can easily understand the process if we think of the wheat being tossed up in the air and wind passing by and blowing away the chaff. Whatever has the substance and weight not to get blown away comes down and is fruit for the harvest, the rest is reserved for the fire.

A passage in Isaiah gives a good example of the criteria that God uses:

And his breath, as an overflowing stream, shall reach to the midst of the neck, to sift the nations with the sieve of vanity: and there shall be a bridle in the jaws of the people, causing them to err. Isaiah 30:28.

Pride is what keeps us from being the perfect church that Jesus will be wedded to. If we are slandered, reviled, persecuted, what is our reaction? If we humble ourselves and endure the suffering, will we not be victorious? If we let pride, anger and judgment rule and we end up condemning those that cause the pain, we become like them and we fail the test. If we love those that persecute us, we do what the Lord has taught us to do and have the substance to be gathered in. Why it is so hard for so many to understand this? Pride, pure and simple.

"Where do we go from here?" should be the subject of continuing discussion but we can certainly take some spiritual direction on this. We should also look at the elements of the church that cause the pain and discuss the reasons why they are there. Understanding and endurance may be key to getting through the fire but we do not want our loved ones to get burnt in the mean time, do we. True love warns of a fire in the midst of our families. Whatever it is, we must follow the love ourselves.

What do we need to do as a group and as individuals to sound the alarm? We are to face these giants in the land and overcome them, not be part of them. We may be able to denounce the sins but we must embrace the sinners and put away all of our self-righteousness, pride and false authority. Except for the grace of God, we are just like everyone else. Revival starts with us as individuals. Of course many of us are doing just that and may be the reason that we get hurt in the process but if we have the understanding and resolve to endure the pain, we have the courage to approach the fire.

So where does this pain come from? Blaming it on the devil is not good enough. Saying that we need more love and spiritual walk is too simple an answer but a good start. What are some of the specifics, the human emotions involved? What are the spiritual problems that cause so much hatred and false authority and condemnation of others in the church? The blame is shared among all branches of Christendom so we need to take any pride and accusations one over another but rather what are the symptoms of the problems?

And what are the solutions?


It was me, Lord

Hi Jay,

The pain, how do I get free? It's a looong process and I'm just now learning to be still and know He is God. He is the healer!! The church is dysfunctional because we believers are dysfunctional.. Sin is our big problem. In the garden Adam told God 'it's this woman You gave me." She said 'the devil made me do it." True. It's still going on in the church.. We are still placing the blame on others, mostly on leaders who are as dysfunctional as the rest of us. I grew up in a dysfunctional family though Christian. I came to Jesus as an emotional basket case needing to be rebuilt.. In my misconception that others were going to meet my emotional needs, I wandered around from place to place until I was so weary I finally said "Jesus, except You help me, I'm a sunk duck. I finally saw I could not do anything without Him nor could anyone else. I was looking to others who could not meet my expectations. You see, I was one of the ones who was hurting others, myself. I couldn't help anyone for I was too wounded...and so were all the other church members.. Somewhere there had to be someone healed enough that he/she could apply the 'balm of Gilead'...The Comforter must function through the Believers in the entire Church whether 'full Gospel' or those who don't accept the Holy Spirit's function in church. I had a talent to keep running into others who would make me think they had all the answers which would only anger me more.. When I turned to Jesus, it was His time for me and truly He did the change (I need more) He wanted to make in me. I had my own agenda and it just wasn't working out the way I wanted it to.. I believe if we all would let Jesus build us up as lively stones there would be far less wounding going on.. It takes some of us longer to 'see' how much He loves 'little ole me'. It took Jesus over 30 years to get me to 'wait on Him'. I'm a slow study, as they say in movie making land..grin.. My best counsel is: Lay down all your plans and don't do anything except worship Him..He will visit you in the place you are most in need..I have been put in a church where the pastor is well enough to tend the sheep..Hallelujah!! And he lets me help !!!!!!

Following the Lamb,

venida onan

Dear Jay,

Bless you!

I have been one of those sheep that was slaughtered by leadership. I went through a terrible 3 year ordeal at a previous church, and I thought I truly would die from the pain. BUT GOD!! During that time the Lord kept taking me to Ezekiel 34. That is powerful reading about false shepherds which there are plenty of. God will recompense though and none should think they will escape it. He is not playing nor winking at our sin anymore. IT is time for the burning fire of a Consuming God, and the time for shaking that will shake all the junk to the surface, and we will either let the Holy Spirit deal with it, or else we will try to find our fig leaves and cover it up, but then God will show our naked backsides in the daylight. We don't want to have to deal with that part of an awesome God.

During all the pain I went through, and can now thank God for, I learned what it was like to be in the ditch bleeding, broken, and dying with "priests" walking down the road saying I don't want anything to do with you for you are unclean lest you would not be in the ditch! The Lord told me specifically, that because of that experience I would be one He would send to the ditches to bind up broken wounds, and pour in the oil and the wine. Trust me, I have a compassion and desire for the broken that I might not would have had, had I not been in the ditch for a season. God will bring us through, and He wastes nothing. He teaches us everything. He had to teach me to release the former pastors, and to pray for them, and honestly for a while I could not. But Yah walked me through it step by painful step, and He revealed some things to me about me also!!! Why did I put so much power into these people who yes, are shepherds, but who are also men??? What was my problem? Had I not in my own way made a little god out of them??? God will not have it. Yes I respect authority, and yes I honor them as they are in positions that God put them in, but I will not go against what the Holy Spirit teaches or reveals to me, and backs it up with the WORD OF GOD, even if it comes out of a Leaders mouth. I do not speak against leadership even if I know they are Saul's for even Saul was appointed by God and served God's purpose, and David let God handle it, and God wanted Saul to repent but he would not, and did not God deal with it???? I am no longer under the leadership I tell you about, but God has healed ME, and even worked through me to try to minister to the leadership mentioned, He Himself vindicated me because I did not defend myself.

Flesh cannot eradicate flesh, only the Spirit of God can. Yes the church is in a bad way, yes she is full of wickedness, especially greed, and yes she is in Babylon, but Our God will bring His church through the fire and these will testify of His Righteousness, and they will be clothed with His Glory, not of clothes of their own making, but first they have to be stripped and their nakedness made manifest to THEM, and they can choose then, do I cover myself? or do I stand before the penetrating gaze of an all-seeing God, and let Him purge out of me what He desires, and then pass through His fire, and then let Him clothe me with HIS GLORY??? We will choose Jay. We will decide and He will honor our choices. He will have a spotless, beautiful bride worthy to be called such. And the work is HIS! All we can do is stand and let Him do what He will, and stand in the midst of the fire on the altar of coals. I suggest a book by Gene Edwards that is very forthright, called Crucified by Christians. It puts it in a very good light. We all must look at our individual responsibility honestly as the Spirit of God wills, and the pain will heal. love in Christ to all,


Bro Jay I hope all is continuing to do well for you in question is from reading the discussion... will it take Apostolic Truth by the holy Apostles and Prophets to restore such a Church back to her Glory...because most of it, i'm convinced is apostate...yes we do have brothers and sisters in the system but how to deal with such a situation when you have family and friends?

bro green

God bless!


Thanks Lowry,

I agree that the church is apostate for the most part and it will take apostolic and prophetic truths to bring them into the true faith. This I believe is from two sources, first is the apostolic and prophetic truths that have already been recorded for us by God in His word, the Bible. Secondly is the apostolic and prophetic truths that He has revealed to His present truth apostles and prophets throughout history, including today. This is where Christians who deny the power of the Holy spirit in revelation today would disagree and in effect, is what it means to quench the spirit and deny that power. But we should all remember this, that love will supersede religious "correctness." God is said to wink at former times of ignorance but we are commanded to repent. That effort of love, repentance and forgiveness should be taken first, which is not always so easy. But I really think that if we do that and love each other enough to come together in humility, we should be able to understand our differences and finally restore the former glory and then come under those prophetic and apostolic mandates easily. Once the hard part of dealing with ourselves is overcome, the Lord makes it easy for us to accept the truth that we can all agree on.

I hope that makes sense.



William Sitzai

How do we heal the pain? Accept it as a blessing and an opportunity. Rejoice!! When we do that we "turn the other cheek." We become demonstrators of the "power of the Gospel." It's done by letting Him be all that He is in our that we are that we may become all that He wants us to be. Yes, it is "Christ in You!!" who heals the pain.
Because of Him,

Dear Jay:

I know this is a timely letter, I am right now going through a situation with a leader in the church. At one point of my Christian walk I would not say anything back but now I have a strong dislike for his person. I have sat down and talked with him but that does not seem to work. My advice to anyone going through this is to talk to the leader as soon as possible (after prayer) because if you wait you develop negative feelings for that person. In my situation the sad truth about it the leader was wrong in what he said and did but the reason it hurt so bad is because I took my eyes off Jesus and sought the approval of man and when I didn't get it because the leader may been jealous or just didn't appreciate what I was doing. My suggestion would be to pray honestly about the leader and talk with him and get an understanding of what's going on. Also we could set aside a day one day this week and pray for the leaders and the ones who may have taken a wrong turn that God restores them.

Barkel Flemming


That is good advice Barkel. Of course anything we do this important in our Christian walk should be preceded by prayer but it can never be emphasized enough, the first thing we should be doing is bringing it into the heavenlies. Obviously what is learned here is not to ignore the situation until it became a point of resentment, the right thing about it is that it taught you a lesson that you can share with us.

It is a serious problem when the leaders of the church are so into their own personal ministries that they cannot minister effectively. It makes for a false ministry, one of self-serving gratification of their own spiritual needs rather than the needs of the ones that the Lord has given them the responsibility over. Humility is key here but that is a hard thing to have when priorities are confused and they put themselves in charge.

Your example of not seeking the approval of man is good also. The problem is that we should have the approval of each other, that is part of loving. The best way to exalt Jesus is to deny ourselves and exalt the Jesus in other people. If we have the attitude that Jesus has given us a responsibility of leadership in a ruling situation, we fail in our contact with the flock, they are driven rather than being led. We are to bear witness with each other, we are to submit to each other in the Lord. The pecking order in the church is the sin of Nicolaitanism, which God hates. We are all God's laity and there should be no separation with the different classes of ministry and lay. A church leader that cannot submit to the Jesus in all of us has no business being in church leadership.

We need to understand that it is a spiritual problem that allowed church leadership to bring the church into the captivity of Babylon. And we do need to pray for our leaders that they do not succumb to that demonic force of pride that has led so many church leaders away from the true faith.


Hi Jay, and all,
I don't have all the answers about healing the pain that we have experienced in the church, but I am better now, so I thought I would share this with you.

First, the pain I experienced was the most excruciating thing I had ever known, as if it was especially designed to bring about my downfall and destruction. Normally able to communicate reasonably well I found myself without any friend or companion who understood what I was going through, even though I talked and talked. I talked until I was sick of talking, approaching it from all angles. Still I was isolated, and still those people who I expected to be best equipped to tell me what was happening, i.e. the church, failed me. I described this like being down the bottom of a pit. Plenty of people passed by above me "in the light", calling down helpful comments that never reached me. No one seemed to be experiencing anything like what was happening to me; no one seemed to be willing to dirty themselves getting down in the pit with me. That was when I discovered Jesus had. And saw the point of the isolation, that I knew without a doubt that Jesus was real, that He was with me, and that no matter how horrible things got He would never let me go. It is easy to say the words, but only the experience of that resolved some things for me, and so the healing began.

Thereafter I sought to understand God's will, and to understand the pain. The numerous churches I visited failed to furnish me with either. Online fellowship and teaching brought me in touch at last with people whose experiences were similar, and understanding began to dawn.

James 5:10 reminds us,

"Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction and of patience." Everything about suffering in the Word confirms it is a training ground for the people of God. We had best not throw it away too lightly in case we hinder the process by which God is making us into a people He can use.

Don't believe anyone who tells you that your pain will disappear when you forgive them what they did to you. That sounds unBiblical, but hear me out. Forgiveness is only part of the solution, and only part of the medicine. We all know that God requires us to forgive our brethren, and every place within where unforgiveness lodges must be cleansed in an ongoing manner. But there is a place inside where the hurt remains and the forgiveness hasn't touched it. This is the pain impossible to describe. This is the stuff we haven't experienced before, and can't get rid of by any means we know. Have you got that left in you? something else needs to be put right.

If we have the Holy Spirit residing within, part of the pain we experience over the failing and errant church is grief, as it were from the point of view of God: there is pain for us in the experience of sin in the church (our own included) - insofar as it is done unto God, it is done in some measure to us, and it hurts down deep. There is pain in the experience of the Body torn apart: us outside, others inside, insofar as it is done to God, it is done in some measure to us, and it goes down deep. There is pain in the experience of being prevented from ministering to the rest of the Body, and also from not receiving ministry from the rest of the body. Again, this is Holy Spirit pain, going down deep.

The only realistic solution to this experience of pain which we could not have without having the Holy Spirit, is reconciliation. Whether we recognize it or not, in the Spirit we groan and yearn to be joined and properly united to the rest of the Body. Partial solutions in church alternatives constitute denial of God's whole Truth.

Returning to the fold, not under pressure but as God directs, with an understanding of what and who we are as a result of Godly suffering, we will find ourselves fully equipped in ministry: the fleshly threat of isolation, rejection and even persecution is not able to elicit the same pain and fear in us. Once having passed that way before in practical ignorance; now facing it willingly and with some expectation according to the Word we have within, and the certain knowledge that God will finish what He started in us.

I am sure there are more aspects of the healing process I haven't touched upon. For me, a large part of it was dependant on my gaining an understanding of who I am in Jesus, and what He wants me to do in the church. The rest seems to be dependant on my doing it.

Hope this helps,
Love from Mary

I guess I'm one of the lucky one's. I'm 75 and I can't remember anyone in Church hurting my feeling's. Sometimes I think the church leadership does not use my talents but I suspect it more my fault than theirs.

One think many of us forget it how active Satan is in all Churches, e. g. today, yesterday and tomorrow no one has mentioned the effect of Satan's leadership in the Catholic church. Just a very few years ago, that preacher in North Carolina, the big TV minister and his painted wife fell from grace and the other big TV minister "Swager" or something like that had a problem hiring doxies to look at! I feel sure Satan had a major roll in that as well as the Catholic problem today. Sometimes we forget, Satan in on the earth. He has never been to hell and he and his helpers are with us all the time and unless we frequently call out in the name of our God, His Holy Son and the Holy Spirit, he will effect the decisions we make. At least that works for me. Love in Jesus

Charles Schell


Works for me too Charles.

Somebody mentioned to me that satan is working overtime, that is an understatement; he is working like you say, all the time 24/7, to mess up the church. He did make a mess out of the Catholic Church but what we must realize that the many things that were messed up was not dealt with in the reformation. Actually, the reformation was good for the Catholics because it helped them to clean up some things also. Problem is now that the same authoritarian leadership problems that satan introduced early on is in the protestant churches too. I just heard a local minister on TV tell of what his church is doing between ministry and lay people as if church members are not supposed to be involved with the ministry. Big problem.

The most effective way that satan can influence the church is to deceive her into thinking that all is well in their own particular circumstance. As soon a self-satisfaction sets in, the progressive prophetic spirit is quenched, we become luke-warm and our mission in the world fails. Whenever we feel so comfortable in our local church that we ignore what is happening around us in the church universal, we hinder the Lord's return. Complacency seems to be one of the devil's biggest weapons.

Thanks for the insight.


Hi Jay,

Boy, what a topic. Yes, my husband and I were hurt by our former pastor and his wife, but we never spoke against them to anyone, feeling that he was the Lord's anointed to pastor that church. We prayed for our pastor and learned to pray only general prayers for the Lord's guidance, so that we would not pray "controlling prayers" out of our own hurt. Even though we were publicly supportive, my husband and I still occasionally would "vent" with each other, and I realize that there is still some residual bitterness in my heart towards them. When I realize I am giving in to the bitterness I ask the Lord to help me pray loving, blessing prayers for my former pastor. We moved on to another church because the Lord could just not move in that church for many reasons, nor did the Pastor really want Him to move. He was afraid of "wildfire" and would quickly quench any move of the Holy Spirit. That was so frustrating.(especially because it is a pentecostal church). We were starving for the presence of the Lord so we moved on.

If the Lord had been present there, no matter how we had been hurt, we would have stayed. We were in positions of leadership and had many dear ones that we loved there and still do. We never lost our belief in the concept of the church body of Christ. Our new church is much larger, far away, and not many people know us, but the leadership is sensitive to the Lord's moving and God is allowed full reign. It is worth the drive to get to where God's people worship Him without fear of judgment. We met with our former pastor and his wife to receive his blessing, because we wanted nothing to interfere with our walk with the Lord. This meeting was initiated by us six months after our departure. When we initially told our former pastor we were leaving, he was so angry that he could not talk with us. We did not feel led to discuss what we felt were "issues", because we had not been called to pastor that church, he had, and we felt it was God's job to lead his anointed. But you are so right, the perfect, sinless, abused Son of God is our model, not imperfect man.

In His Name,

Vicki Nelson


Thanks for that Vicki.

I am finding that for some, God wants us to stay and for others, He wants us to leave. Before I finally left my previous local church I was in, I stayed out of loyalty to the members. I tried to teach them some principles that they had not been learning and found willing ears too, but the church "leadership" would have no part of it. I remember the voice of God early one morning as clear as it came through the radio - "What are you doing in that church, you need to be where My power is manifested." It still took a while but the rejection finally sunk in and I was gone. I wandered the wilderness for some time before I actually found the place where I was fully accepted. The point is that God can lead us out of certain churches and into other churches. I know others that God has led to the church that I left and led others out of the church that I am in. God is in control and His wisdom is not to be questioned.


grace and peace..I am in this 100% right now as far as healing the pain..I call myself healing my pain right now from leadership hurt..but now I after reading this article I have to rethink my decision to take the action I was planning to take this is hard..Pray for me that I do the right thing Jesus is Lord....Thanks.... for wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of our times..I know this is Gods perfect timing in recieving this letter thanks Brother Jay for being obedient to the spirit and writting it.

God Bless
sister sandra

you say your heart has been broken by people in the church you trusted with your soul. First of all you should never trust your soul with anyone but Jesus. People quite often let us down. Don't depend on any flesh. Don't be offended by any. If you are offended you are still in the grave clothes. We were raised with Jesus from the grave. Jesus had to drink of the cup of trembling and so do we if we want all of Him. Flesh does not want to drink of this cup. We have to give up fleshly things like being offended, getting our feelings hurt. etc. Most people are not willing to do this. Also most people do not understand or live Jesus' one comandment that we love one another.



Hi Patti,

It is true, we need to trust in the Lord with all our heart.

Jeremiah 9:4 Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders.

What we also need however is to be trustworthy. As soon as we love each other, we are giving away our heart and become vulnerable. In that Jesus loves the church, we are the church, we are entrusted with our own well-being. I believe that each one of us has the responsibility to feed the flock. What it means to be given that responsibility is that Jesus is trusting in us as we trust in Him. Walking in His spirit is not the same as walking in our own flesh so there has to be a difference in trust there also. The process of restoration is not only restoring what the devil has taken away from the church but restoring the faith and trust that people have lost in the church and that starts with us. We are not to be trusted because so many have betrayed the trust that Jesus has entrusted to us, it is as simple as that. We are to perfect the church and repair the breach. This is Jesus' body we are discussing here and that means that the trust that we give Him alone must be spread into the members of His body. If we are to love our brothers and sisters, we need to start trusting in the Jesus within them. But again, we must be trustworthy for it to work. We do not trust in the flesh of our brothers and sisters but His spirit working through us is trustworthy. We need the holiness of life to make it manifest and the spiritual discernment to see the difference.


We "heal" the pain by going "through"it! And,enduring! ( with the help of the) "HOLY Spirit", then releasing the "healing" to the "church" (in the love/compassion) of CHRIST JESUS. I know! this is a "sure and more excellent way" to bring healing. For it is "exactly" what CHRIST JESUS, our example did! Thanks for the privilege to share what I have learned (experientially). In sharing, I too am "made whole/healed". JEHOVAH! continually bless you.

Carolyn F.Brown-Daniels..

Dear Brother in Christ,

Reading through your article left me with a burning inside. The reason we cannot forgive our brethren and the world, and the reason we are high minded in our ministries is that we have not come to the reality that Jesus Christ is our life, our very living. When he becomes the living Word within us there is no problem to forgive, and there is no problem to exalt only him, and not ourselves!

Jesus said, "I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly." He also said, I am the way the truth and the life. He is our life.

The apostle Paul wrote to the Colossians that when Christ our life would appear we would appear with him in glory. Where does our life appear? and where is glory? Our life appears from within. Glory is the divine nature or the fruit of God. Jesus said herein is my father glorified that you bear much fruit, and Paul describes the fruit.

Dear Heart, God is seeking to bring us to his divine nature, to the full stature of the Son of God, as Paul writes to the Ephesians. When we come to walk in this state, we will be swallowed up with his life.

May Jesus our Lord be exalted.

Wayne Shelton

Hello Jay,

Very well put my friend.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

When you take a look at the word "pain" in Webster's dictionary, it reads like this 1: Punishment, penalty. 2: Suffering or distress of body or mind. 3: Care, trouble. None of which can be removed, covered or heal by inflicting more of the same. Love can and does heal all pain. We must choose to take the higher road. We must look at those that have inflicted pain on us with compassion the same way Jesus looked at the other two men that hung beside Him and the same compassion He felt when He asked the Father to forgive them. Before we can remove the pain we must first realize that the whole reason we were hurt to begin with was because we in fact felt LOVE towards these people. Had we not loved them to begin with, we would not have been hurt. We must allow the Christ in each one of us to rise above ourselves, in other words, we must die in order for Him to live through us, only then will we be able to return to the love that we once felt for these people. There is nothing wrong with feeling hurt and anger, until that hurt and anger become our purpose for living. God gives us these trials to purify us because His Word says that He will return for a spotless bride. Hurt feelings, anger and pride tarnish the robe. As is the garden we still have a free will. It's up to each individual whether or not we choose the high road of Christ likeness or the low road of pride and anger. Is it easy? No. What was easy about what Jesus did for us?

Much love in Christ,

Jay, the pain in my life has been healed by knowing the WHY it happened. It was a RELIGIOUS SPIRIT behind the hurt...also JEZEBEL SPIRIT. When God showed me the truth of this (out of it came my book - COME OUT OF BABYLON, MY BELOVED BRIDE), I could see that it was not the PEOPLE in leadership, but the evil spirits behind them. He took me out of that church....for years I knew the strongholds were there (27 years) and I always had an outle of the Spirit....I served in the church but was not a main person until I was the backup praise and worship leader. I thought I could bring more of the Holy Spirit's presence...and did, until I was cut off by this religious spirit. It is a nasty spirit..., the one that crucified Jesus. If people understand the warfare we are in.....they can forgive easier.

love in Jesus,

For me, healing the pain of inept leaders and institutional faith has simply come by depending on the Lord alone, and finding two or three who will gather in HIS name. The Holy Spirit is leader when we are gathered in His name, and He heals, leads and provides.

In short, I have bypassed the institutional church and sought out seekers. It works, though it has put made me an outsider.

jesse kloss
south carolina

Yes, Brother my family had been hurt at a particular church. The Lord began to speak to us about leaving that particular church. My husband was a minister in the church that stood in for the Pastor on different occasions. He said that was the hardest thing he ever had to do. We both felt as though God was leading us out to call us into the ministry. We left there & visited different churches while my husband would evangelize. Then we found a church where the Lord led us to for a while. Then we received a call that a small church in our area would be available for rent. My husband told our Pastor at that time & asked him to pray about it & needless to say he didn't receive it very well. So we prayed & sought the Lord's direction & believed God had opened up that door. We started out with our family & one other family in that church. The Lord would also send others from different churches in on occasions. Then in the second month of this ministry another family came in which we previously went to church with & brought in their family & seven souls got saved. The Lord has since blessed us & allowed us to move to a bigger building and it seems that the devil has tried his best to destroy God's plan. One family has left & there is another family that may be leaving. The devil knows that he has but a short time before the coming of the Lord. I just want to say out there to anyone who has been hurt through a particular church, don't give up on the Lord. Ask the Lord to pour his healing virtue into your heart & remove the pains or scars that the enemy has placed upon your heart. Ask the Lord to lead & guide you to the home church he would have you to be. Don't give up, keep on believing & you shall receive. Please pray for the ministry God has purposed for us. Satan is on the warpath, but greater is he that is within me, than he who is in the world.

Laurie Wynne

Hey Jay,

I've been receiving your notices about discussions and have never taken the time to get involved. I can say I've been busy, but perhaps I was just trying to avoid one more avenue for disagreement, pain, or debate. I seem to be surrounded by it lately.

I've always tried to be the peacemaker and the one who sought common ground. You put my web site under "Unity" sites on your main page - yet I find myself fitting the description of hurt by my church & pretty much driven off by those I thought cared for me...

And I still don't understand!

  • They preached on prophecy, but rejected anyone who moved in it...
  • They preached on healing, but seemed to reject it when the healings started...
  • They preached on freedom, but hurriedly rechained anyone who demonstrated freedom...

I guess I was naive. When they said pray for the sick, I did. There were healings happening every week. Words of knowledge were flowing through many people in the church. People who had lost hope were getting healed and many were being set free from psychological bondages. It was a very positive and happy time in our church. As the healings continued, faith grew.

Then one day I put my hands on someone who was having intense headaches. As I did, I could feel in my own head exactly where it hurt. As I prayed, I could feel exactly where the pain was and how it was affecting the neck and eyes. I asked them if what I was feeling matched their problem and it did. As I prayed, I could feel the pain lessen and knew when it was gone. This type of thing and a few variations kept happening. I would walk into a room and feel what was going on in peoples bodies. I seemed to know what the problem was - even when it was not what it appeared to be. As I prayed for them and their pain left, the pain in my body was gone also.

Having been healed of Lupus 4 years ago, I was excited - all I had ever wanted was a healing anointing. One day I went up to the pastor and started to tell him what had been happening and asked if I could meet with him and share more about what was going on. He looked at me an said flatly, "NO". I stood there with my mouth open and eventually walked away. I didn't go back to the church for almost 3 months. When I did go back, I found the healings had stopped shortly after I had left.

I don't believe the healing stopped because I left, but I do feel that the Holy Spirit was hurt and rejected. I just don't understand. I guess I never will...


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